Something Wicked This Way Comes: The Obligatory Valentines Day Soapbox

Ah, Valentines Day.

First off, is it Valentines or Valentine’s?

For our purposes, Valentines.

Anywho, tomorrow is Valentines Day! Yay!…?

I mean, it isn’t all that bad, I guess. People get to feel all mushy inside, and as much as I dislike having to deal with being emotional I am very much okay with good emotions (but that’s for another day). But then again, for an optimist I’m a bit of a cynic. I had a Valentine in 6th grade, Matt, and we went to karate class together and then his dad drove us through McDonald’s for vanilla ice cream cones; and there you have the extent of my Valentines experience. #happysinglesawarenessdayyall

regina george

Here’s a side note for all of y’all out there think I’m trying to throw a little pity party (even though that photo may make you think otherwise…I don’t feel personally victimized, I just have a weakness for perfectly timed Mean Girls quotes). You know that song Merry Go ‘Round? “If you ain’t got two kids by twenty-one, You’re probably gonna die alone, Least that’s what tradition told you.” That’s where I’ve grown up/live now. My college has an ongoing joke/truth about the event of Ring By Spring. My whole life I’ve been taught that when I turn 18, I’m going to a Good Christian University so that I can get a Good Christian Education and make Good Christian Friends and marry a Good Christian Man and have Good Christian Children. And let me get this out real quick: I love going to a Christian University. I love that I share similar faith with my teachers, and I think going to a Christian University is definitely a good choice.

But, I came to college thinking that I would do all of that stuff. I never even considered the fact that I may not meet the guy I’m going to marry here. I never even considered that he may not exist, that God has other plans for me. But now I’m starting to realize that my reality is different than my mom’s, who met my dad at this university because they were in brother-sister clubs, and very different from my granny, who met my papa here: she just up and dropped out of college to marry him!

Me, I’ve been here since August, and last November I was finally happy with myself as I was: independent, and not in the least bit sorry for myself.

Alright, end side note. Back to what’s up.

Valentines Day. We build up relationships around Valentines Day. It’s like “OMG, I CAN’T W8 2 HV A VLTNE!” and if you do have a Valentine, great! I’m genuinely happy for you! 🙂 But if you don’t then it’s like this huge letdown. And I guess I’m losing the whole point of this post because it’s one o’clock in the morning and I haven’t had coffee since yesterday and I’m starting to rant.

Sorry.

The way I see it, Valentines Day can go in many different directions.

  1. The Actual Valentine: If you’ve achieved this, CONGRATULATIONS, and happy Valentines Day to the happy couple!
  2. The Pity Valentine: A Valentines Day card from your mom. (I’ve got to give credit for this one to my bro James.)
  3. The Potential Life Ruiner Valentine (also known as The Check Yes Or No Valentine): Good luck my friend. Usually a girl who has liked this guy for “like everrrr” and is finally sticking her neck out there. Kudos on your discovery of your lady balls, and I wish you the best!
  4. The Nut Up or Shut Up Valentine: The male version of Direction Three.
  5. The Elementary Guilt Valentine: “Now, you’ve got to bring Valentines for everyone in the class!”
  6. The Barney Stinson Valentine: Happy Desperation Day, y’all. Hope you don’t turn up with VD, and good luck with your Walk Of Shame.
  7. The Lily Allen Valentine: If you receive one of these, congrats on being officially single.

Whichever way your Valentines Day goes, I hope you enjoy it, and that you are happy with yourself the way you are, be that single, it’s complicated with, or hitched. I’m more of a Halloween girl myself, and will probably be going to see the new Die Hard movie with my dad.

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