@SirJayGatsby is a spoof Twitter account of Jay Gatsby, the famous character. Sometimes, I like the tweets that come from the account. Things like “Never give up on someone you really want, old sport.” and “Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you.”. But sometimes, there are things that I absolutely do not think are okay. Like the tweet that says “A girl is happiest when she knows that you make her your everything, in front of everyone, every time.”
Sure, that would be sweet. In theory. But theory hardly ever plays out in real life.
Point one: Why would you want the pressure of being someone’s everything?
The dream of most teens, as spurred on so violently by media, social networking, and stories, is to be someone’s “everything”. The Notebook, Twilight, you name it. Even the stories that are good often have this sense of “everything”. But isn’t that too much pressure? Relationships can’t function when there’s that expectation. There’s an episode of Supernatural (one of my personal favorites) in which a djinn grants a man a wish: that this girl that he’s been infatuated with for his entire life would fall in love with him, and BOOM! She’s obsessed with him. And you can tell that it isn’t right. It’s off, she puts every single thing before him. It gets to the point where even he starts to question the relationship. And breaking an infatuation is very difficult.
If you’re under the pressure to be someone’s everything, you’re no longer free to live a life in service to community. And while it’s not by any means wrong to be in love (in fact, it’s right. It saves your life), being someone’s everything is detrimental. You break under the pressure and the love becomes a hinderance which hardens the heart rather than something that opens you up to a life of compassion.
Point two: This is grossly unfair to the male population.
Women are always complaining about how we are objectified and held to impossible standards of beauty and grace and perfection. But often we don’t realize that we turn around and do the same thing to guys. We expect guys to be a Prince Charming who puts us ahead of everything. And while we shouldn’t “settle for less”, we also can’t set expectations so viciously high. It breaks guys down in the same way that lingerie advertisements break women down: doubt, reinforced, crushes souls and hearts and sends us into a spiral headed down fast.
Personally, I don’t want a guy who makes me his everything. I mean yeah, I want to be up there in importance. But his everything? I can’t handle that pressure, and I don’t think I can ever make anyone my everything in return.
You’re fabulous. But it’s more than okay if you don’t make the woman you love your everything.
Adios, Old Sport.